Bringing Balance Between Who You Think You Are And How Others Perceive You

by Reuben Chow

Have you ever said to yourself, or uttered loudly, that you do not care what others think about you?

I know I’ve done this before. But, if I’m to be frank, I would guess that you are not being perfectly honest with yourself. Because, in fact, you probably ARE bothered by what others think of you; almost all of us are!

Of course it matters! How do you get a good job, for example, if it weren’t for your prospective bosses thinking highly of you? How do you get a promotion? How do you enjoy intimate and loving relationships without your loved ones experiencing and perceiving you, so to speak?

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In truth, there is actually much that we can learn from how others view and perceive us, if we are able to digest and process that information. More often than not, there is a big gap between our perception of ourselves and how other people actually view us. Having awareness of this disparity is the first step – from there, that information can prove very useful to you.

Of course, it’s all about balance, because if you become so subsumed by what others think of you, well, that certainly isn’t healthy for your wellbeing. You could become so obsessed with pleasing others, that you stress yourself out and lose sense of who you actually are and what you want to be.

But if you were able to properly process others’ perceptions of you, and make a conscious choice to change the areas which you CHOOSE to change, such information can be very useful indeed.

One useful question you could ask yourself is, how do you wish to be perceived by other people in this world?

Now, when there is a disparity between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you, this can result in a sense of frustration and unhappiness. I think I am a kind person, and I want others to see me as a kind person, so why are people saying that I am unkind?

This is where you have to be honest with yourself and examine what you are projecting outwards – mainly through your words and your actions. Are they in harmony with your personal perception of yourself? The next time you receive some negative feedback from others, feedback which contradict how you wish to be perceived, you may want to carry out some serious and honest soul searching. Are your actions and words in line with what you are thinking inside?

One of the best sources of honest feedback is people in your life whom you love and trust.

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