Dealing With Guilt – How To Handle Guilt So Guilt Doesn’t Handle You
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Dealing with guilt is something that everyone will have to do at one point in his or her life. Guilt is a common human emotion that usually occurs after you do something that has caused harm to others (or that may not have caused harm; however, you have perceived it as being harmful).
Guilt is commonly accompanied by many questions, the most common being “What if?” So what are some steps for dealing with guilt?
First, recognize that you cannot recall actions or words. Everyone has heard the saying, “You can’t change your past.” You especially need to remind yourself of this when you start feeling guilt over an action. It is true you can’t change your past; however, you can use your past to help you make better decisions in your present. When you have done something to another that causes you to feel guilt, ask yourself what you can do to change the situation from that point forward.
Next in dealing with guilt, is to recognize the cause of your guilt. This can be due to a major action on your part or a minor one. It can be caused by an action against another or against you.
For example, if you have decided to go on a diet and then you eat ice cream, you may feel guilty for doing something to yourself (sabotaging your diet). Own the guilt. Look the guilt right in the face and say that you messed up.
Now that you have recognized your guilt, you are ready to make changes or make amends. If you feel guilty for cheating on your diet, take steps to not break your diet again. If you have done something to another person, take steps to make amends.
For example, if you have gossiped about a friend or family member and are feeling guilty about it, come clean. Let them know what you did and how you plan to make it up to them. Also, respect that person’s right to be angry; however, don’t let their anger continue to cause you guilt after you have made amends.
This leads to the next step in dealing with guilt: moving on. Once you have made changes or amends, move on. Don’t dwell on the mistake or the guilt. Remember, “You can’t change your past.” You can, however, learn from your past. Take the lesson that you have learned from the experience and release the guilt. By acknowledging the guilt but moving forward is an important step in dealing with guilt.
Remember that guilt is a normal feeling, but it doesn’t have to define who you are. Although it is good to have a conscience, the important thing to do is learn from your mistakes, make amends and move forward.
Guilt can be a very healthy emotion when you learn to control the guilt and get the necessary lesson from it. It is when guilt becomes overwhelming or causes you to do more negative actions (such as self-harm) that guilt becomes unhealthy.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by your guilt, seek professional help. Guilt is nature‘s way of telling us something is wrong; however, you don’t have to be controlled. Dealing with guilt is within your grasp.
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