Helping Children Of Divorced Parents Cope With The Split

by Inspiration4Living.com

Divorce is not easy on anyone, but it seems to have a particularly negative impact on children. They go through a wide array of emotions as their world is turned upside down.

The parents are often too wrapped up in their own feelings and emotions to recognize the effects on children. Here are some things to look for when dealing with children of divorced parents (whether they are your own children or children you are providing support to).

One of the first feelings a child will experience is fear. They see a great deal of change coming at them very rapidly, and they are afraid. They fear that they will not be loved anymore. They fear they may have to move to a new home and change schools. They are afraid of what their friends may say. This fear in children of divorced parents is a constant regardless of the child’s age; however, it does seem to be more intense in the pre-teenage years, as this is one of the major developmental stages for a child.

One of the best ways to combat this fear is to sit down with your child and discuss the changes that will be made. Assure your child that he or she is still loved by both parents and you only want what is best for the child. Discuss their feelings openly and give your child a chance to express his or her emotions freely (even if it means venting). Help your child face these fears.

Another common emotion that children of divorced parents face is guilt. They often feel that the separation and divorce is their fault, so they start looking at themselves in a much more critical light. They feel like they did something to make their parents stop loving each other.

When you realize your child is feeling guilty over the divorce, talk to your child. Let your child know that the divorce was not due to the child in any way, shape, or form. Let your child know that they didn’t do anything wrong. It is very important that your child realizes that the divorce had nothing to do with the child’s personality, behavior or other aspects of the child’s life.

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